The best cyclists' cafe I ever visited was at Elsdon in Northumberland. The cafe was an old house on a village green, which had about thirty bikes parked outside. Inside, the admosphere was definitely communal. We sat at long tables on bench seats and the owners kept bringing large pots of tea, which they placed on the tables for all to help themselves to unlimited quantities. There were posters on the wall depicting cycling greats alongside adverts for local cycle races. The fare was was simple - beans on toast and the like - and cheap - apple pie and custard was 55 pence. Payment was made on an honesty principle - you totted up what you'd spent and you gave the money to the owner.

I've no idea if this place is still going - I hope so, but I doubt it*. It seemed a bit of a relic from the past - a wonderful place and a memorable experience. But the reality for most cyclists, especially around the Midlands, is that such places, sadly, no longer exist.

It's not all bad news, though. There are still plenty of cafes out there and it seems that new ones are popping up all the time, especially in garden centres and craft centres. But we have to face the reality that these places are different from those of yesteryear and I think cyclists need to approach these places differently. Here's my list of things to avoid:

• Large groups of cyclists turning up unannounced can create a serious problem for the owners of small cafes. The staff can't cope and there's no room for the regular customers.
• Asking for separate bills is a major annoyance.
• Turning up in "gob" order, plastered with mud, might be construed as lowering the tone of the place. Spreading your soggy clothes out to dry makes things worse.
• Leaning your bikes on the plate glass window often makes proprietors nervous and is all the more annoying if they obscure the tastefully arranged window display.
• Many cafes have a lucrative lunch trade, so occupying tables around lunchtime while you sip your tea is costing the owner money.

Here's a list of the tea stops that we currently use, some frequently, others infrequently. Some details are sketchy but we'll add more information the next time we visit each place.

Steve Lockwood

(* Actually some searches on the web indicate that it's still going - it's called the Impromptu Café.  Hurrah!)

Download a map of tea places for Google Earth.